What Women Really Want In A Man from A Matchmaker

I’ve interviewed thousands of women. As a Matchmaker, it’s my job to meet droves of women and get a sense of who they are and what they’re looking for. I find out more from them in 5 minutes than you would on 5 dates. Most women think they know what they want, but they really don’t. If you ask a woman what she’s looking for in a man, she’ll tell you she wants someone tall, dark, and handsome. But if you look at her relationship history, you’ll see that’s not always true.

Men are visual and fall in love through their eyes. They’re shallow and superficial. Sorry guys, you know it’s the truth. However, women fall in love through their ears. We care more about the whole package. We value a man’s personality and how he treats us. I’m here to tell you that looks aren’t that important to all women. Most women want more than a great looking guy. Read on to see what women REALLY want!

1. Be Kind and Caring

Women want a man who is kind and caring. We want someone to come home to at the end of the day who is our best friend. Women want a partner; an equal. Above all, we want a gentleman. Women want to date someone who makes them feel fabulous.

2. Brains, Brains, Brains

Intelligence is sexy. Women are captivated by smart men. Whether it’s informing us about the newest restaurant opening or teaching us something we didn’t know about baseball, we want to date someone we can learn from.  We enjoy feeling enlightened.

3. Have A Sense of Humor

Being funny makes you more attractive to women. There’s no science to it, it’s just a fact. 100 percent of women appreciate a man who is witty. If you can make a woman laugh, she’ll almost always think you’re awesome.

4. Exude Confidence

Women like men who are confident. When you’re sure of yourself, and your actions show that, women are naturally drawn to you. Women are attracted to men who know they’re great.

5. Be Charismatic

In my dictionary, charisma is defined as having swagger, being spunky, possessing a certain je ne sais crois, or my personal favorite, not seeming vanilla-like. Whichever definition you prefer, all women love a man who is charming. When you have a big personality, women find you irresistible.

6. Practice Balance

Leading a balanced lifestyle is important. Women enjoy dating a man who can do it all. We want to date someone who can prioritize his job, family, friends, and a relationship. We’re drawn to men who make time for us and show us that we’re an important part of their life.

7. Show You’re A Good Listener

A man who is a good listener is a true catch. Because women are more emotional than men, we love to share. We can talk for hours. We have tons of stories to tell and we want you to listen to all of them. If you can listen to a woman, and I mean genuinely listen, she’ll be impressed.

8. Display Thoughtfulness

Women are enticed by thoughtful men. Being thoughtful doesn’t mean whisking us away to Miami on a third date. Although we’d certainly love that, it isn’t necessary! Being thoughtful means showing us that you care. If we mention that we love a certain restaurant, surprise us and plan a date there. If we say that we love a particular flower, bring us flowers on the next date. If we tell you that we’re eager to see a specific movie or play, get tickets and take us. A man who’s considerate is very sexy.

9. Go With The Flow

We want to date someone we can bring anywhere. If we’re at a business dinner at Per Se, we want to date a man who can go with the flow and “be fancy.” When clients invite us to their box seats at a sports game, we want to date someone who can keep up with the lingo. I won’t give you ten more examples because hopefully you get the point. We enjoy dating men who can be comfortable in any situation.

10. Be Presentable

Being put together and looking presentable is essential. Women want to date a man who is well dressed. A nice outfit can make you so much more attractive. Personally, I love a man in a nice suit. If you’re well dressed and put together, you’re showing the world that you value yourself and how you look.

At the end of the day, women want to fall in love. We want to date someone who makes us feel special and important.

How A Matchmaker Says To Ask A Guy Out!

So you’re looking for a boyfriend, but you just can’t seem to find him. You go out all the time and have great conversations with men. But, nothing comes out of them. You’re tired of waiting. Here’s the answer, and it’s simple! Next time you see someone you’re interested in, ask him out. Follow these tips straight from a Matchmaker and you’ll have a date on your calendar ASAP.

Take The Initiative
These days, women can get away with anything. We aren’t timid little people. We’re strong and empowered. If you’re in a social situation and you see a man you find attractive, take the initiative. Some men are too shy to approach a woman. So, instead of waiting for him to come over to you, take matters into your own hands. Walk over to him and start a conversation.

Comfort is Key
Believe it or not, men aren’t foreign species. When they talk to a woman, they too like to feel comfortable. Tell your cutie that you like his shirt or that he has nice eyes. Compliments go a long way and are good ice breakers. If you make him feel at ease, asking him out will be that much easier.

Flirt, Flirt, Flirt
When you’re flirting, you can never go wrong. Men of all ages appreciate being flirted with. Be playful, sweet, and funny. If you make it known that you’re interested in him, he’ll know you’re going to ask him out. Being asked out by a fabulous woman who is sure of herself is flattering. Even if he’s not interested in you, he’ll still be a gentleman.

Tell Me More
Everyone loves to talk about themselves. Be a good listener and get to know the man you’re interested in. Ask him questions that won’t scare him away. Remember, no one likes to be interviewed.

Go For The Gold
Be sure of yourself. Confidence is sexy. Instead of beating around the bush, come right out and say it. Tell the man you’re interested in that you’ve enjoyed talking to him and would love to get to know him better. The worst he can say is no.

Don’t Be Afraid of Rejection
Everyone gets rejected at least once in their life. It’s part of dating. If you ask a man out, and he isn’t interested in you, he isn’t the One. Don’t be discouraged, it happens to everyone.  When you have the attitude that you have nothing to lose, you’re opening yourself up to love, which is essential.

So, now that you know how to ask a man out, go do it. Don’t be afraid. You have to take risks in order to fall in love. Happy Dating!

 

How To Be Liked By The Most Important People in Your Boyfriend’s Life From A Matchmaker!

So you’ve found the man you’ve been waiting for your whole life. He’s smart, successful, great looking, and in shape. Best of all, he asked you to be his girlfriend! Now you just have to make sure everyone in his life likes you as much as you like him. Here’s a few tips from a Matchmaker for making nice with the important people in his life.

Parental Time
Your boyfriend’s parents are extremely important.  One way to make sure they love you is to always dress appropriate. It’s better to air on the safe side, and dress conservatively. You can never go wrong with a simple dress and heels. You should always demonstrate that you’re well-mannered and polite. All parents want their children dating someone smart, so make sure you’re aware of what’s going on in the world. You should read the newspapers on a daily basis anyway. But, if you don’t, brush up on them so you can be in the know. Last but not least, if you’ve been invited to his parents home, you must bring a gift. Flowers, a bottle of wine, or a candle are my go-to token gifts.

Sibling Love
If your man has siblings, you want their approval too. You should be the best version of yourself without trying too hard. I have a younger sister and she hates it when the men I date smother her with attention. She finds it awkward and uncomfortable. So if your bf has younger siblings, get to know them without trying too hard. Even if they’re still quite young, they’ll be able to sense it. If your beau has an older brother or sister, don’t try to be their best friend either. Be friendly and get to know them, but ease into the relationship. If you seem obsessed with being their best friend too soon, they’ll just end up thinking you’re a freak.

Friend Me!
Friends are almost as important as family, and most men care what their friends think of their new girl more than they’d like to admit. The best way to ingratiate yourself is to just be yourself. Make sure you’re easygoing and fun to be around. No one likes a high-maintenance gal.

So now that you know how to make everyone in your mans life fall in love with you, do it. Show them how special you are. Happy Dating!

7 Ways To Get Over A Breakup From A Matchmaker

A wise person once told me that it’s better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. I didn’t understand what this meant until I had my heart broken for the first time. After endless days, weeks, and months of crying over my broken heart (yes I can admit it), I finally realized what that meant. It’s better to have loved someone and to have your heart broken than to never be hurt and be single forever. So, if this sounds similar to what you’re going through, you must be wondering how to start living and dating again. Here are some tips from a Matchmaker that helped me through some of the rough times.

1. Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself
Rule #1: stop feeling sorry for yourself. We’ve all been there. You know, when you walk around thinking ‘poor me,’ right? Wrong! Moping doesn’t get you anywhere. Sure, your relationship was amazing. All of mine were too. But that doesn’t mean I sat around feeling sorry for myself.

2. Forget The Past
All relationships are great at one point. But yours is over now. So forget about it. Don’t analyze all of your good memories and try to figure out what went wrong. That won’t do any good.

3. Shop ‘Til You Drop
What better way to make yourself feel good than to buy some brand new clothes? A sexy new outfit can be better therapy than a 90 minute massage.

4. Run Your Heart Out
When you’re feeling low, the gym is a miracle worker. You’d be surprised how fun getting sweaty can be. Besides, endorphins are like a natural high. So instead of drinking during the day to cheer yourself up, hit the gym.

5. Party Hardy
Sitting on your couch watching TV is fun for a week. Trust me, you won’t be able to forget about your ex unless you’re out and about. Being social and having fun with your friends is what you’re supposed to do. All the time.

6. Get Busy
The best way to get over someone is to get with someone else. I’m not saying you should start sleeping around. Random sex isn’t sexy, it’s dirty. But an innocent make-out session never hurt anyone. In fact, it could be just what you need.

7. Date Up A Storm
Until you meet someone amazing who’s ten times better than your ex, you won’t forget about him. And let’s face it, you aren’t going to meet Mr. Right sitting on your couch eating Chinese food. Believe me, I’ve been there and another relationship doesn’t just appear out of thin air. You have to date, date, and date some more. Remember, regardless of how bad your breakup was, it always gets better. So get out there and have fun.

 

Dating Do’s and Don’ts: Dating Rules To Live By from A Matchmaker

When you’re dating, you have to put yourself out there until you find Mr. Right. Sometimes it takes a while, but in the end it’s always worth it. Here are the dating rules to live by from a Matchmaker, so that you don’t make the common dating mistakes.

The Do’s: These are the things you should be doing.

1. Ask Away
The best way to get to know a man is to ask him a ton of questions. Don’t make the date feel like an interview, but get to know him. Believe me, everyone loves to talk about themselves.

2. Dress Up
Putting yourself together is important – all the time. I’m a huge fan of leggings and T-shirts. If you ever run into me during the day, I’ll most likely be in spandex and some kind of comfy top. But that’s not what I wear on dates. I save my comfy clothes for when I hang out with my gfs. You should too. When you’re going on a date, play dress-up with yourself. Wear clothes that make you feel like a million dollars.

3. Be Confident
Confidence, confidence, confidence. Say it over and over again and remember how important it is. Men want to date a woman who’s sure of herself. They don’t want to date an insecure girl who’s always in doubt.

4. Be Honest About Your Feelings
Life is too short to keep your feelings a secret. If you like someone, make him aware of it.

5. Be Informed
 
Men are attracted to smart, sophisticated women. They like dating women who can bring something to the table. You don’t need to be a rocket scientist, but you should be aware of what’s going on in the world.

The Don’ts: The don’ts of dating are the things you should never do. They’re easy to remember.

1. Don’t Be A Wimp
No one likes wimps. At least I know I don’t. Most people say you should hide your feelings when you’re casually dating. That rule is so passé. When you’re dating someone, stand up for what you want. If you don’t, no one else will.

2. Don’t Be A Hussy
Everyone likes sex; sex is fun! But that doesn’t mean that you should go around having sex with 40 different guys. You should wait to sleep with someone until you’re exclusively dating. Men like a chase. They don’t want to date a girl who’s easy.

3. Be Game Free
Regardless of what your friends tell you, games aren’t cool. They’re for people who are afraid to be vulnerable and show their true colors. Do you want to be that girl? I didn’t think so. So don’t play games.

4. Bye Bye Neediness
Men want a woman who’s attentive, but there’s a difference between being attentive and being needy. When you’re attentive, you give a guy the right amount of attention without smothering him, but when you’re needy he’ll want to run in the opposite direction as soon as possible. So whatever you do, don’t be needy!

Now that you know a few of the simple do’s and don’ts of dating, follow them.

The Most Important Traits of Successful Daters from A Matchmaker

Dating may have its ups and downs, but it’s important to remember why you’re out there in the first place. You want to be spending time with someone who will give you want you want. Because after all, there’s no use going after something that’s not right for you. You deserve only the best. So what’s the most important thing to remember while you’re out there sharing meals and drinks with new guys every week in the search for love? Stay true to yourself. If you’re not exactly sure what that means or how to do it read on. These are tips straight from a Matchmaker and of course they’re fabulous!

Love The One You Want
If you want to date a tall, dark, and handsome mysterious guy, no one can stop you. If you want to meet a guy with a motorcycle or an elementary school teacher (or one who’s both) you know what you’re attracted to and who will be good for you in the end. Don’t fight it. Trying to convince yourself that the perfect person on paper is right for you when that’s not who you’re innately attracted to will only lead you down the wrong path in the end.

Don’t Settle
Don’t put too much effort into a guy if you know in the end he’s not going to make you happy.  Be true to yourself and who you want to date. If you want a boyfriend but you’re hanging with a guy who can’t commit, don’t go out with him again. It’s a waste of your time and his.

You Can’t Change A Man
It’s not just men who love challenges. Ladies, if you meet a guy who says he doesn’t want a girlfriend, listen to him. Don’t make him into your pet project. Go after someone who wants to be your boyfriend, not a guy who clearly just told you he does not.

Have confidence
When you realize you’re fabulous, other people will too. When you appreciate yourself, other people will appreciate you. Dating is only fun if you realize how great you are. Don’t forget that you’re a catch and you should be with a guy who is chasing after you.

Be Yourself
When some women meet a man they like, they turn into the girl of his dreams. This isn’t healthy. Instead of turning into an actress, you should be with the man of your dreams. Besides, regardless of how good your acting skills are, your true self will come out eventually. So remember that honesty is the best policy and you deserve to be with any man you want.

 

What Men Really Want In A Woman from A Matchmaker

We all know the stereotype that all men want is sex. But that’s not true. Yes, they want sex. Who doesn’t? They want MORE than just sex. Men want women with the 4B’s – beauty, brains, body, and balance. These are straight from a Matchmaker, so it’s of course the truth!

1. Beauty
Men want women who are beautiful. Don’t worry, you don’t have to look like a model to be beautiful. You should be the best version of you and focus on your positive attributes. If you have beautiful eyes, accentuate them. If you have great legs, show them off. If you have amazing hair, make sure you wear it down. Hopefully you see where I’m going here. Work with what you have!

2. Brains, Brains, Brains
Intelligence is sexy, and men are captivated by smart women. You don’t need an MBA from Harvard Business School to be considered smart (if you do have one, kudos to you). Instead, you should be aware of what’s going on in the world—read the news, watch CNN, and be in the know. Men are intrigued by women who challenge them and bring something to the table.

3. Body Confidence
Men like women who are fit and in good shape. They aren’t attracted to someone who’s rail thin. Curves are sexy. Keep in mind men like toned women so you should make sure you look good in AND out of clothes.

4. A Zen Lifestyle
Leading a balanced lifestyle is important. Men enjoy dating someone who can balance their job, their family, their friends, and a relationship. They’re drawn to women who are independent. They like women who are down to Earth and aren’t drama queens.